Great Pains
by JackiLeigh
Summary: Tag to Season 4 Finale. Contains shameless Neal whumpage/angst, just become it makes me happy.
1. Chapter 1

GREAT PAINS

**An: This picks up right at the end of Season 4. This is my version of the continuation of the story, with a heap of shameless Neal whumpage/angst thrown in, just because it makes me a happy, happy girl. I hope you enjoy.**

**Welcome Back ccluvshorses101! I'm glad you got your computer issues resolved. Thanks for your beta skills.**

**And, as always, thanks to all of you who read, review, and alert. **

"How much more is Peter supposed to give up for you, Neal?" El asked. She had just gotten the news her husband had been arrested, all because of James Bennett.

Neal shook his head. He really did understand her anger, her disappointment. "I just…I didn't know…."

"I know you didn't, Neal." El sympathized. "But the fact remains James is your father. You brought him into our lives."

"El, I…I'm sorry." Neal replied.

"You know, Neal, there are time when sorry just is not enough." El glared at him. "This is one of those times."

El stood in her doorway, barring entry. "I just…please leave, Neal. Please…just go." She didn't even give him an opportunity to respond. She just closed the door.

El stood behind the door, hidden by the curtain. She saw the hurt look on Neal's face. She then watched him walk away as she wiped tears from her eyes. She knew he was hurting, too. She knew his father had betrayed him. And she could never imagine how that felt. But her priority was Peter, and he was in big trouble. Trouble she was not sure anybody could get him out of.

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Neal stood staring at the Burke's door for, he didn't know how long. He had not been terribly surprised El had closed him out. He knew El, and probably the White Collar Division, would lay this at his feet. He was not responsible for his father's actions. They all knew and understood that. But the fact remained; he had brought the elder conman, as it turned out, into all their lives. Neal sighed, turned, and walked away.

A couple of hours later, Neal had a plan. It was a dangerous plan, one that might cost him his life. But at this point, he really didn't feel like he had a lot to lose. He had lost it all already. But, at least, he would be able to repay Peter and El for the trust, kindness and friendship that they had shown him.

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"What do you want from me? What…what do you want?" Neal asked James. Neal had found James easily enough. Neal had thought he might try to stow away on a passenger/cruise ship, and he had been right. James had joined a line of passengers getting ready to board a ship. James had been spotted by agents who had been staking out these ships and the plan was quickly set into motion.

"I got what I need, Neal." James said. "I got proof that Ellen was a liar. That's what I got. That report, her report…." James shook his head.

"She didn't lie." Neal replied. "And if she had, it must have been a damned good one. You ended up in jail, didn't you?"

"You really, really want to know what I want, Neal?" James replied, smugly. "I plan on letting your…friend take the fall for murder. That's what I want. That bastard, the senator, didn't deserve to live. And I get to kill him, and not have to go to jail, …all the better." James looked thoughtful for a moment. "And I needed to find out exactly what, if any, evidence Ellen had against me. I had to find out what you knew." James paused. "Ellen didn't know I was Sam. She had no idea." James grinned. "I have changed a lot since my cop days. I was sporting a few gray hairs, and I had put on a few pounds. When I finally got back in touch with her, I realized that I could make her think James was dead. And if James was dead, there would be no reason for her to keep the evidence, no reason to pass it on to you. So, I tried to get her, well Sam tried to get her, to destroy the evidence. But no, she had to give you some sort of key." James said, sarcastically. "I didn't know what she had done with the evidence. I didn't know what type of evidence she had. It could have been anything. I was surprised she had written a report. I mean, she could have been thought to be involved, guilt by association. She was my partner, after all. To say something like that, in writing, she really was risking a lot." James shook his head again. "And that videotape you showed me, I had no idea it even existed." James sighed. "She had to die. She just…when she decided to share that information with you, it…it sealed her fate. And it kind of sealed yours too."

Neal looked down at his chest. There was a spot of red staining his white dress shirt. He watched, for just a second, as the spot got bigger. He knew he had been shot, but he felt no pain. He then looked up at his father, in surprise, before his eyes slide closed and he collapsed to the ground.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**AN: I have never been on a cruise before, so I am not sure how they check the tickets. However, if the scenario I presented ****is ****true, it makes what I said seem plausible.**

_Two Days Earlier:_

"I can do this!" Neal pleaded with Hughes. "Let me do this!"

"It's…it's dangerous, Caffrey." Hughes said, pleased by the young man's desire to help Peter, but concerned about the huge holes in his plan. "We have no guarantee you can…there are too many uncertainties here." He shook his head.

"I can get James to talk, and he wouldn't find the hidden mike." Neal said, reassuring Hughes, Jones and Diana his plan would work.

"You don't even know where to look Neal." Jones replied. "You don't even know if he is still in the country."

"The easiest way to get out of the country and not leave a trail is aboard a cruise ship." Neal replied. "They only do spot checks for tickets because everyone books ahead of time. No reservation, no room." Neal explained. "They rarely have problems with stowaways. And it's easy to blend in with the stuff. It changes from cruise to cruise."

Hughes, Jones and Diana nodded their understanding.

"So, you're gonna find James, and he is just going to open up to you?" Diana asked.

"James feels like he got away. He feels like he's free." Neal paused. "He doesn't give a damn about me, Diana. He's proud he pulled a fast one on me. He'll brag about it. He can't help himself."

Diana didn't miss the fleeting look of hurt in Neal's eyes when he said James didn't give a damn about him. She shook her head. "Neal…?"

"I got Peter into this." Neal pleaded. "Let me get him out."

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Everybody in the van froze in disbelief when they heard the shot ring out. They all looked at each other before Agent Barrigan started yelling orders.

"Man Down! Repeat! We have a man down!" Agent Torrance yelled into his mike as he ran. He had been acting as a passenger. He broke his cover, dropped his empty bags and took off running. He was mere yards away from the action.

Several other agents, posing as passengers, broke their covers and ran to the scene. They began to search, frantically, for James Bennett in the crowd of, now confused, passengers. The passengers had all heard the shot and panicked. Some had witnessed the whole thing and were traumatized. They had been surprised to see the gun as the intended victim. Most passengers ducked and stayed down, making the search for the gunman easier. But a few panicked and choose to run, which slowed the agents in their pursuit.

Diana quickly exited the van. All the agents with her ran to the scene, just about 50 feet away. She cursed, under her breath, for ever agreeing to help with Neal's plan to begin with. She prayed Neal was still alive.

Diana was at Neal's side in record time, joining the other agents who were already there. Agent Torrance had reached Neal first and was applying pressure to his chest wound. Anther agent had called 9-1-1 while still others were doing crowd control, questioning witness or searching for James.

Neal looked up at Diana when she came into his vision. She knelt down beside him. She was disturbed by the amount of blood on his shirt and the thin line of blood that was coming out of his mouth.

"…got…it." Neal managed to say through the pain and the blood. He was indicating the hidden mike he had used to record his father. In this case, it was a pen that they had used on many occasions. And it was in one of his inside jacket pockets.

Diana nodded, tears coming to her eyes. She hated to see her friend in pain. She hated him, at the moment, for putting himself in such danger. And she hated herself for agreeing to it all.

Neal squeezed Diana's hand as she retrieved the pen and replayed the evidence. She smiled, glad they had something. Her smile soon turned to a look of panic when Neal started to cough. She then realized he was no longer holding her hand, and his lips had turned blue.

"Breathe, Neal!" Diana ordered. "Come on, breathe!" She pulled him into her arms and turned his head in an attempt to clear his airway. She heaved a sigh of relief when she heard him take one small, shaky breath, and then another. Neal opened his eyes.

"Hey." Diana said, getting Neal's attention. "You only get the scare me like that once. And that was your once."

"You'll get…help Peter?" Neal asked, clearly exhausted and hurting. He closed his eyes and his body relaxed in Diana's arms. He already knew what her answer would be.

Diana nodded anyway, her eyes wet. And she was very relieved that she was hearing a siren in the distance.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Neal did this?" Peter asked Diana when he met her at the guard station. "How did he manage to…?"

Neal went to Hughes. He told Hughes that he had a way to get you out." Diana stated. "He said if it worked, it would get you out for sure."

"And?" Peter asked as they both got into the FBI sedan. He looked at Diana as they sat in the car. "Or is it a 'but'?"

Diana sighed. "Part of it worked, but part of it didn't." She paused. "You're out, so that part worked."

"What aren't you telling me, Diana?" Peter asked, getting worried.

Diana sighed again knowing Peter was not going to like what she was about to tell him. "Neal said he could get James to talk. He said he could get James to confess."

"How…?"

Diana nodded. "Neal said James would brag. He wouldn't be able to help himself. He would brag he pulled a fast one on Neal." Diana said as they navigated the city traffic. "And he was right. Neal's plan was simple and brilliant. We got James admitting to setting you up. We got him admitting to killing Ellen. We got him admitting to trying to destroy evidence…."

Peter looked at Diana. "Again Diana, what aren't you telling me?" He had thought Diana was taking him home. It was not until the car stopped that the realized their destination. They were sitting in a hospital parking lot.

Diana opened the door and got out of the car before she answered. "James, he…he shot Neal, Peter. No one…we didn't see the gun. We had no idea James had a gun. We had eyes on them, several agents, in fact. It…it happened so fast." She shook her head. "I was in charge of this, Peter. Hughes even agreed to it." She shook her head again.

"Because you, and Hughes, knew Neal would go through with it anyway." Peter replied. "You knew Neal would do it whether he had FBI backing or not." He paused. "And yes, it was a bad idea. It was a horribly bad idea. And Neal was an idiot for doing it. But…but that wouldn't have stopped him. He knew all that. He knew it, and…he was…he was willing to risk it all…for me."

Peter and Diana raced inside.

"I called El and June. I had to take care of getting you released. We had work to do, and I knew Neal needed to have somebody with him." Diana explained as they rode up on the elevator. She paused. When she looked at him again she had tears in her eyes. "We…Neal stopped breathing. We almost lost him. He was chocking. We…we got his airway open…." Diana shook her head, hating to have to relive the horrible memory.

Peter looked at his agent. He had never seen her react that way before. He could only imagine what it would have been like seeing it, experiencing it, firsthand. He shuddered.

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Peter and El were reunited seconds after he and Diana made it to Neal's room. She practically ran into Peter's arms. Peter could tell that El had been crying from the tear stains on her face.

"El, Hon, what…" Peter asked as El wrapped her arms tightly around him. "Hon?" He then looked at June.

June dabbed her eyes. She had been crying as well. "Neal's lost a lot of blood. There's damage to his liver, his lungs…. He's very weak." She sighed. "The doctors are saying that they will know more in 8 hours. If Neal survives the next 8 hours, that is."

"He…." Peter looked at June then into the observation room window at Neal. "He's…what?"

June looked at Peter. She nodded, knowing the question he was trying to ask, but couldn't.

"I'll…I'll stay with Neal for a little while." June said, taking a seat in the chair beside Neal's bed. "You two need to get reacquainted."

"I'm not leaving, June." Peter stated. "Neal,…he…he did all this, for me." He walked over to the bed and touched Neal's shoulder. "I can't leave him."

"What…Neal? It was his idea?" El had no clue what had happened to Neal, other than he had been shot. Diana had not gone into detail. She had just told El to get there, to the hospital. "He… She shook her head. "…I kicked him out of our home, Peter. I kicked him out. I told him I didn't want to see him." She paused. "I knew he wasn't to blame for this, but I…I was angry, and I wanted to hurt him. I wanted him to have some idea of how badly I was…." El shook her head again. "He didn't think he had anything to lose. He had lost everything already."

The truth to what El was saying hit them all at the same time. El was right. Neal hadn't cared if he lived or died, as long as Peter got to walk free, as long as El got her husband back, and as long as Peter didn't lose his job with the Bureau. That was why Neal had done all this.

El took Neal's hand again. "Please don't give up, Neal. Please." She started to cry again. "I am so sorry for what I said to you. I…I knew you were hurting, but I didn't care. Please wake up, please come back to us. I need to tell you how very sorry I am."

June, Peter, and El all stayed at the hospital. They took turns sitting by Neal's bedside. Jones and Diana visited but, otherwise, got updates by phone, as did the rest of the White Collar Division. Several of the agents who had rushed to help Neal after he had been shot even stopped by to visit.

Peter paced the floor of the ICU waiting rom. He also had worn a groove around Neal's hospital bed. "You know…El's right. You can't give up yet. This is not over. You can't go. I can't let you go." Peter said as he walked around the bed. "You don't get it, Neal. We…El and I, we consider you a friend, actually more like family. Did you think about what this would do to June, Neal? How would she feel if she lost you? Mozzie? What about him? And El…what about her, Neal? Yes, she was angry with you. But she cares, very much, about you." Peter ran his fingers through his hair. "When she heard what you did…for me…for her…." Peter took a seat beside the bed. "We both owe you a lot, Kid. We need the chance to say 'thank you.'"

Neal's only response was the rise and fall of his chest and the steady beep of his heart monitor.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Well, it's…it's been 8 hours, Doc. What now?" Peter asked, as the doctor emerged from Neal's room after his check.

The doctor nodded. "There are signs of improvement. Mr. Caffrey is responding to treatment. The damage to his liver and lung has been surgically repaired. We plan to leave him on the ventilator just a little while longer. His body needs time to heal. But don't get me wrong; while he has made some progress, he still has a lot of healing to do. He's still weak, and he's still getting blood. In another 4 hours…."

Peter just looked at the doctor. "You mean we are going to have to sit and wait and agonize for another 4 hours, and he still might not survive this?" Peter started to pace the hall.

"Look, Mr….Agent Burke, for all the reasons I told you, he needs more time. He's a young man, and he's strong, that's all in his favor. But his body was dealt a terrible blow. He needs time." The doctor explained. "I don't want to give you false hope. And I don't want to rush his treatment. It won't do either of you any good." The doctor began to walk away. "The best think you can do, we all can do, for him is to support him. Let him rest. Let him recover, in his time, Agent Burke, not in ours."

Peter understood. But it still didn't make the situation any easier to take. He still paced the room. He still hated himself that Neal had had to put his own life in danger to help him. And he, at times, hated Neal for being so stupid. But mostly Peter prayed, he prayed for Neal to get better. And he prayed that James Bennett would be caught. In all the confusion of that day, James has slipped away. And, as far as Peter knew, no one had any clue where he was.

Another critical 4 hours passed, each hour more slowly than the last. El, June, Mozzie, and Peter took turns staying with Neal. Members of the White Collar Division even came and visited with Neal. They were all anxious for Neal to wake up. They were very appreciative to Neal for what he did and wanted to tell him so. Peter wanted to tell him how much he, also, appreciated the incredibly stupid, utterly fool hearty, completely unselfish, and totally generous thing Neal had done for him.

"What's the deal now, Doctor Wilson?" Peter asked, the 4 hours had passed and the doctor had just finished his examination of Neal.

The doctor seemed to be considering his words carefully. "Mr. Caffrey's vitals are steady. He's not responding to stimuli. I'm still waiting. He's…."

"What aren't you telling us, Doctor?" June asked. "You said he is not responding, but before you said he was."

"Mr. Caffrey has…he shows every indication of having lapsed into a coma." The doctor stated.

"What…coma?" El said, not believing her ears. She could feel the tears welling up and she made no effort to stop them. "He was getting better. He…he was…." She put her arms around Peter and buried her head in his chest.

They each just stood for a second, trying to absorb the bad news, the thought of losing Neal too much to bear.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"You gave us a pretty good scare, Sweetheart. " El said, as she slipped her arm around Neal's waist and led him out the door. Neal had been awake for about three days. He had spent two days in a coma. And to everybody's delight, he seemed to have suffered no ill effects from the experience. They walked in a comfortable silence as El lead Neal to the atrium located near the patient wards. She found a bench, and they both sat.

"I'm sorry." Neal started.

"For what?" El asked. As far as she was concerned, she was the one who needed to apologize.

"I don't like to see you upset." Neal admitted. "I hate to see you cry," Neal bowed his head and looked at his hands. "…especially when it's my fault."

El shook her head. She took Neal's hand and held it tightly. "I was way, way out of line. I…I wanted to hurt you. I wanted you to feel, just a little of what I was feeling. I shouldn't have said what I did about James. I know how much meeting your father, getting to know him. I know how much that meant to you. You just…you were looking so forward to that. And what he did…what I did." El shook her head. "I know you didn't feel like you had a friend left in the world."

Neal didn't speak. He didn't look at her either. She gently lifted his head so that she could look him in the eyes. She was not surprised to see tears in those beautiful blue eyes of his.

"You…you gave me my husband back, Neal. You risked your life to do it." El said, taking his hand again, and holding his gaze. "That means a lot to me. I don't have too many people in my life who care that much. I think that that makes us, officially, family. A crazy, messed up, dysfunctional, completely wonderful family." El took Neal's hand and pulled it into her lap holding it with both of hers. "And that doesn't mean we don't fight. That doesn't mean we don't disagree." She paused. "But what it does mean is that I…we love you, Neal. We care about you, even when you, in your own, misguided way, try to tell us you love us back."

They both sat in silence for a few moments.

El then looked at Neal. "Has Peter spoken to you yet?"

Neal shook his head. He knew what El meant. He and Peter had spoken many times since Neal had woken up. What El meant was had Peter given him the 'stupidity' lecture yet?

El sighed. "Well, I guess you're due then." She said standing up. "And don't smile this time. You know that that really annoys him."

Neal nodded and grinned.

El just looked at him and shook her head.

Neal stood up, slowly, he was still a little sore. Their walk had taken a little more out of him than he had expected. They made the trek, slowly, back to his room.

"James…?" Neal asked as they walked down the hall.

El shook her head. "Peter's not telling you anything because he doesn't want to upset you."

"So…he's gone then." Neal sighed. "He would be stupid to stick around."

El nodded. "They'll find him, Neal. Trust me, Peter wouldn't stop till he does."

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Peter was pacing, and Neal was trying his best not to grin, El's advice playing in his head.

"...I mean, monumentally stupid, Neal." Peter was saying. "If I was to look up the word 'stupid' in the thesaurus, and read you all the synonyms, and then look up a few of those synonyms and read…." Peter stopped mid-rant. "What are you doing? There is no smiling here. You do not get to smile."

Neal's grin only got wider.

THE END


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